The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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