we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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