Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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