he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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