I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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