In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
