He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
