Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
