How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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