just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was like eating out sand paper
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
