Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
