I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
