My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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