Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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