I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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