Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
