either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
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He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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