Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
