his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
