Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
