Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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