Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
