Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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