she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
