I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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