just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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