you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
