My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
