one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
