Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dignity is for republicans.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
