whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
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I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
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I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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