Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
