Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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