you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
