THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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