i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
