The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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