I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
