i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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