i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
