Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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