I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize