I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
