Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize