Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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