i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
