I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think my vagina is haunted
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
