he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
