i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
what day is it and did you see me today?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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