I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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