She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
