i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
