We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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