I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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