I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
