Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
