Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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