You just made me feel so damn special
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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